Spoke

I have many scars on my heart                                                               

from words people spoke it just

could not take.

Spoken from secrets of their own

brokenness, giving them power

over the weak. 

Many things have been attempted

to stop the pain from getting infected.

Regret seeps in as I recall — the junk I

tried to fill the ache — of all the wounds

within my soul. Feeding it with

liquid and smoke. A ceremony of sorts,

to not incriminate all the hate.

From now on I will only let one

surgeons’ hands upon my heart.

Allowing the miracle to happen

with soft words

of understanding…Giving it a new

beat. The gentleness used as He

traverses the crevices for what needs

to be done, brings a recovery from

my inflictions beyond what has  

ever been spoken.

~ Sue Burnett

@run40life2jesus

December Book Review

His Song ~ by Brittany Hudson- Paladino

Warning! If you are a grammar snob, this book admittedly, has not been edited. If you truly can’t get past this, you may want to leave this one on the electronic shelf until it has been re-worked; I heard this is in the process, so maybe you will not have to wait long. As for me, I am always ready to delve into a story that someone needs to tell before their soul bleeds dry.

This review feels a little different because I had the pleasure of hearing the author speak at a women’s retreat in upstate NY on a beautiful October weekend. If you have ever been to the northeast when the leaves are changing, you can imagine the delight for the eye, at the colors popping off the trees and reflecting from the water of the lake close to where we stayed. My surroundings were captivating and having Britt as the speaker just made the weekend even more memorable. My journal got a workout and is bursting with teachings, book quotes, bible verses, and surprising realizations I will continue to reference in the future to feed my soul.  

Since our retreat was intimate, about 45 women, I had the opportunity to have real conversations with Britt and get to know her on a more personal level, not just from her teaching. This was a great surprise for this writer! Not only was she true to what she was teaching, she took the time to listen to my dream and encourage me, even while she was busy staging her amazing God story for all of us to hear. A true woman of character for those who turned out for the weekend with their own individual expectations. I am sure I was not the only one she took time to listen to and this is one of the reasons, when I heard she wrote a book, I immediately downloaded it when I returned home.

I knew the premise of the book going in because she talked about her story to the group and told us she had written a book. We have all been in an unraveling point in our life, but being able to get past it, recover, and tell the story out loud takes a lot of guts! Through heartache, loss, new love, courage and belief, she recounts the events of what her reality was at the time and how God never takes a break, even when we want to check out and sit down on the bench. I admire her truthful nature as she tells of embarrassing situations and difficult parts of her marriage. Giving the reader an open door to display, a crumbling of sorts, a seemingly intact picture- perfect relationship, home, and career. Okay, let me get to the purpose of this post, His Song.

I was probably three chapters in when I realized each chapter in the book is titled with a song quote. How she came up with the perfect choice for each section she talked about is impressive. We are talking, Peter Gabriel, Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand, Ozzy Osborne and my personal favorite Francesca Batistelli, “Even perfect days can end in rain…” No genre seems to be missed and it feels as if they had been written with Britt’s story in mind. The best part about this is how her words, following all of them and unaccompanied by any music, make it feel as if a soft melody is playing along as I swiped to the next page.

From the beginning of the book it is apparent that the music we will hear within this journey will not always be happy. On more than one occasion I found myself reaching for the tissue box as I envisioned myself in her shoes. It is with intense passion we set hopes and dreams; combining our ideas to another’s in a relationship can, at times, take our breath away. I truly was mesmerized at the honesty and unwavering efforts of how she handled the dance, when marriage seemed to have the other dancing to a different beat. Here we see that broken toes of a partners missed steps, can be healed if each is willing to continue to show up for the waltz. However, this book is not about marriage, but about life itself and it reminded me of how I want to handle the broken guitar strings along the way.

While reading I had the sense I was on the set of a television series, in a good way. I felt as if I were coming back to familiar characters watched over weeks and secretly daydreaming at work about the next episode. Because, in the writing, you feel drawn to the people and locations described throughout. I even found myself wondering what happened to the bad guy. You know you have a real story then! It is well thought out and written for the reader to experience the emotions, tastes, and locations situated within a beautiful narrative. The timeline of this journey is impeccable, and I don’t think she could have done a better job with the outline.

There are many turns in this book and it will in no way leave you bored. Amongst the many are; loss, denial, joy, hope, poor decision making (been there), and the greatest one – obedience and giving it all to God. I never would have guessed from the start of this book where it would end up. In the beginning there is an impossible wound we think cannot be healed, leading to a game of hide and seek, and ultimately teaching us how to hand over our gifts, even the most precious ever received, to the chosen person it truly belongs. I was reminded, even in compliance to what God tells us, there can be pain, but Britt shows us how to move forward and use it to bring hope to other people.

I am sure Britt would agree; all stories God writes are beautiful. Even when we find ourselves leaving Him out of our picture, we are never left out of His picture. We miss it, we settle for less, we make mistakes, and tell stories to justify why we are going against His will. If you have ever found yourself on a dance floor, not quite stepping to the right beat, read this book to see how turning on, His Song, will eventually have you on a channel with the music He has picked just for you.

I downloaded this book from Amazon to my Kindle and look forward to a paper copy when it hits the shelves. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittpaladinospeaks. Oh, I didn’t mention her t-shirt ministry to spread the word of Christ, also on Instagram @ichthus_versewear. And, she knows her bible, like really knows her bible!

By Sue Burnett @run40life2jesus and on Pinterest, run40life2jesus

A heart Aware

It’s early Sunday morning and the decision to go for a (longish), run provides once again the filling of my soul. The temperature hovers between 26° and 28° F. Chilly enough for anyone who is going to be outside longer than a half an hour, to layer up! Do I look forward to the darker days, colder temps, and unfriendly road conditions this season brings? Not necessarily, but I do look forward to having the courage to get up and show up even when life seems to be telling me to ignore the alarm and sleep until the sun comes up. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the snooze button is hit repeatedly, finding my early wake-up call turned into a morning snuggled up under my always cozy and comforting covers.

However, it was not one of those mornings. Today in particular something struck me to – at first – make me get a little… defensive. Here I was, running a road I have run many times, enjoying each beat of my feet against the pavement and I heard a little voice start to ask, “What are you doing?” Yeah, it happens like this, in the middle of an average pace when it is least expected. Where the question was coming from was not the problem, the problem was the reality of the question. Under pressure I started rambling on, in my head (don’t want anyone looking to think I am crazy), with an answer. Well, I am running right now – obviously. Later I will go to church, do some chores around the house, cook dinner for the family, and I will sit my butt down on the couch to watch football, ’tis the season. Although I knew this was not what the question was posing, it still felt good to be able to give an answer so assuredly. How incredibly overconfident I was in my answers, as if the simple facts of the daily list would let me off the hook. God just doesn’t work like that, period!

When I finally got over myself, I was able to start picking the question apart. It scared and hurt me, because it opens a wave of emotions and ideas within it. It seems simple enough – what are you doing? Start within a moment or think about the day after tomorrow, maybe even the plans you have for an upcoming vacation. We all have answers we speak to whoever is asking about our tasks and intentions. But God always has more in his prompting than meets the eye. The thing that came to mind was my running, what it means to me, the work and dedication of it all. How this past summer I put in, some efforts, to run my best times in a couple of local half marathons. What I thought I was doing, was putting in a full effort and pushing myself to achieve such goals. Well, with some disappointing times, a bit of a heartbreak, and dreams a bit squashed, I was wondering why this happened.

You see, the past couple of years my running has not been a priority. The sadness isn’t in this alone, but my running also goes hand in hand with my journey into faith. It is the place Jesus showed up in my life, but right now it feels like I am a spectator in my own sport and if you know me, you know this sport is where God meets me. Not only was I trying to achieve something with very little time put in, it was becoming evidently clear, maybe my heart was lacking too. Was God asking me to define my faith and what it looks like? Was He questioning my true belief because to him it looked as if I have only been “lip syncing” on Instagram about His greatness? What I saw in this question was none of these, just a gentle encouraging for my focus to steadily be put back to where it needed to be. I knew my efforts were sup-par and this had to change on both fronts. 

Running and faith (to me) go hand in hand; the time you put into each is exactly what you get out of it. In each practice I am mediocre at best, but a certain focus that drives me is needed to develop an armor to withstand the cold, rain, sunshine, hurts, excuses, joys, highs, and lows that come with running and a spiritual life. Many years have been put into both. I will never be a professional runner, but it was never about my finish times, it was about what I learned in quiet prayer along the way.

So, on this cold November morning I am reminded of the Full Armor of God. What it looks like to consistently put it on, season after season and not allow the weather to dictate who I am going to be. There are times when a tank top and shorts will be enough, the lightness of this armor makes me forget the heavier times of different seasons in my life. Winter, however, calls for a fuller armor; puffy vests, winter socks, hats, gloves, and yaks (spikes for your sneaks), to make it possible.

This truth brings me to Ephesians 6:10, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11. Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes…13. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so you may be able to stand your ground… 15.and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes with the gospel of peace.”

The wisdom in this scripture as I set foot on the road to spend time with God to wipe away the cares I have stored up, is exactly how it feels to keep running towards Jesus; the center of every season in life. With my winter running armor, I will continue to build miles upon miles of strength and keep developing an armor not just for outer wear, but with a heart aware. Like Pastor Robert Madu said, “If you doubt His authority, you will doubt the validity of His words.”  And there lies the truth, His word is our full armor to put on. Mine, yours, and anyone willing to dig deeper into the questions along the way because those questions are, “The helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:17

What I am doing is running with God.

Sue Burnett

Running in all seasons

Everyday beauty

This picture is about 2 weeks old. It was early Saturday morning, the sun was just starting to rise a little higher in the sky, and this is the gift I received for being dedicated. Dedication to my running has proven over and over again how wonderful it is to wake up and see God’s glory. However, it is not always easy to stay dedicated when, daylight saving time begins and the weather in the northeast becomes, let’s say, unkind. Yes, it would be easy to bail on my regimen of a healthy lifestyles for a few months, but running is more than just a way to keep my body in shape. It is one of the most precious times I spend with my loving God.

I call it my “War Room”. This is a movie I have seen previews for, but never actually saw. We all know, a lot of times, the trailer of a movie can give us the gist of what it is about and if we will like it or not. I am guessing I would like this one because it is about people struggling and someone giving them advice on how to set yourself up (in a room), and pray. A place to focus on prayer, quiet, and wisdom. Sounds like an inspiring tale of instruction to be more dedicated in speaking to God.

I have a small house and extra room is hard to come by, so going out in the fresh air by myself, in movement brings me closer to Jesus. I think of it as His great big playground for me to set the cadence of my heart upon Him. Stepping out the front door to venture on my own, no distractions, focusing on what I am grateful for, is what has me going back for more.

When you are running with God it brings upon a certain humility. He listens as I jabber about my worries, hurts, thoughts of unfairness, and other things often nonsensical. It makes me think how patient He is and me, not so much. Sometimes I can hear Him loud and clear, but other times it feels like the silence on His end is deafening. So, why do I continue to take this on the road? Because the process is what gets us to the starting line of so many things. If it were not for my running, I would not have met my maker along the road and who knows where I would be.

Running is mostly a solitary sport, especially if you are a long distance runner. The pull of the miles sends you out day after day because you feel some kind of gratification in the building of distance. Maybe you have heard, “Every runner has a reason”? This is true, otherwise none of us would do it. To me it is giving myself over to Him every time I set my feet on the asphalt and the beat of my heart sends a praise up to heaven. A moment in time for the worries to disappear and to be heard by the one that truly cares.

So, I will continue to go out in the sub-zero weather. Cold, wind, or snow to the starting line of the next conversation with God. A view like the one in the picture sends me straight to His word ~ Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path”.

“Love Does”

Do you know Bob Goff? Well, neither do I, but after reading his book, a key to my house will be left under the flowerpot on my front porch for him to use at anytime. You may be thinking I am crazy, I think it is the least I can do for an author who is brave enough to leave his cell phone number on the last pages of his book for anyone to call. No joke!!

The first impression you get towards the stories Bob tells, are those of your overindulged uncle with his fantastical renditions of his life during the holidays. Did that really happen? The tender manner with how Bob treats people will quickly bring you into his charismatic ways and adventures. The swiftness of wanting more happens almost immediately with his simplistic rendition of his life, even though there is nothing basic about Bob Goff.

Not only is he not telling uncle stories, he is as authentic as they come. He is humble, thankful, and loves like I have never seen or could ever have imagined. Jesus is the center stage in his heart and, I believe, the reason it so easy for him to live the way he does. Can you imagine letting a total stranger use your house for a wedding and continue to say yes, to request upon request from the young groom? I am not sure I will ever be as kind as this in my lifetime! With this said, Bob has given me a new way to look at people and think of how it is to truly love. We can talk about love all day, but if you want to see love in action you need to read this book.

Bob’s voice starts to resound in your everyday life and opens your eyes to the opportunities to help others in a more recognizable way. Your heart softens to the idea of what love looks like; in your office, at your grocery store, while driving, and in your neighborhood. Inspiration has never been written so well. There is no condemnation in the words Bob shares. He isn’t pretending to be someone and he isn’t telling anyone how to live their life, only how to give your life to love. All he had to do was invite Jesus in and let him write something beautiful. Wow!

Bob Goff is a gift to those who are blessed to know him in their everyday lives and also to those who read his book. I probably will never meet Bob, but I am not ruling it out. This book has changed how I think of the expected. So, I will place his book on my shelf with hopes of the unexpected ring of my doorbell…you never know.

Softly Listen

Time stands still while I sit on this log. The forest surrounds me with its love. Wrapping me up in the tenderness it has to offer. I say a prayer for this is where the Lord is. He has placed himself intricately between the flowers and the trees. The animals hear Him speak; I sit and listen form my turn.

I do not want to convict.

No – to the gossip as whispers of, “did you hear about…”, allowing for harsh words to ridicule the already hanged; premature conclusions often lead to confusion and shame.

 No to – not being a giver of grace when it is needed; bring open arms to the door that was slammed into another’s face.

No to – our preconceived conclusions on what we think others have/don’t to justify a grass greener than theirs; let them walk in your space – disavow the things we often find on our lips of opinions, doctrines, and dislikes.

No to – sitting down when we should be standing up for those who stand trial in the face of non-existing grace.

Yes, to – an open heart for those who are in distress.

For the love of books – Review 1

I love to go to my local library. One of my Pinterest boards is, “Want to Read”, and I will open this up while searching for the next great book. Lisa Bevere, has been on my radar for the past 6 months…or so. I saw a YouTube post of her speaking and I quickly started following her on Instagram. What better way to continue stalking my social media follows, than reading all their books?! So, off the library shelf, scan card, and rush home to get this one started.

When the hubs saw the book on the counter, Fight Like a Girl – The Power of being a woman, he gave me one of those side looks that said, “Are we going into battle?”

I live in a house with the hubs and two teenage boys. The testosterone runs high, and they are all so baffled when my emotions hit high, monthly! It can be confusing on both sides, but we seem to muddle through the differences that encapsulate our happy home. In reading this book I discovered, I didn’t want to just muddle through the differences, I want to celebrate each of our roles.

Lisa wonderfully puts the male and female role into perspective. How we are all wired is a big deal. She explains how to pay attention to these markers for everyone to flourish and grow. She brings us right back to the beginning with Adam and Eve. With poignant intel on the war that was started by the enemy and how it continues today.

The continued question of how women should be viewed and what their importance is, will boost up some of the doubts you may be facing. She does this with purposeful insight to women of the bible, and how God so strategically gave women a strength like no other. With the understanding of this, Lisa gives us the weapons we need to stop the enemy from telling us who we are and what our relationship roles should be.

I love chapter fourteen, Fighting with Influence. What our inheritance looks like, is often not what we have written out in our lives. Especially when today, our roles as women seem to be changing with such ferocity, we often find it hard to hear God’s word. But if we listen and discern carefully, we will be able to bring His wisdom from the lips of a precious woman, as was planned all along.

Ladies I hope you read this book because it will provoke wonderful teaching and deep thought. Men, you may learn a thing or two; when I shared some of the most memorable things with my husband, it gave us time to be in relation with each other.

And, thank you Lisa Bevere for being more than real, but also brave in your ideas.

Preparing

This journey is under construction 📚📝👟🙇💕☕. I hope you travel back to see it unfold. When God puts something in your heart, you need to follow. Maybe it will not turn out as planned, but maybe… maybe it will be exactly what you needed. His stories turn out, no matter what, ultimately! It (may) be the start of who you were all along.